In Another Life
by GeorgiaGirl1331
Summary: They were broken and neither of them knew how to fix it. They knew they still loved each other, but they also loved other people. All human.
1. Chapter 1

_Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that. - Martin Luther King Jr._

* * *

><p>"Is <em>he<em> home?"

"No."

"Can I come in?"

"We have nothing to say to each other Damon."

"Yes, we do Elena."

"I'm so tired."

"I know, so am I, but there's things we need to say."

"I can't think of anything else I need to say to you. I've already said it all."

"Then there are things I have to say."

"Five minutes. That's it."

She leans against the wall, leaving him leaning against the door after he closes it. She needs to keep the distance. She doesn't want to get comfortable on the couch. Being around him still shouldn't feel so easy. She hates him right now, but she knows her heart doesn't care. Her heart still loves him completely.

"You look good."

"Just say whatever it is you need to. I don't really want you here, and _he_ would be furious if he found you here."

"I don't care. I need you to know how sorry I am."

"Sorry changes nothing Damon."

"I don't know how to fix this Elena." His voice is exasperated, which only infuriates her. She should be the exasperated one.

"You can't Damon! You made your choice and even though I still think it was the wrong one, I get it. You love _her_."

"I love you too."

"Please don't say that."

"It's true."

"It doesn't matter anymore. What happened can't be changed. This is where we are and we have to live with it."

"Can you?"

"I love _him_ Damon."

"You love me too."

"What part of it doesn't matter don't you understand? We are with other people now."

"What don't I understand? How you went back to _him_ so quickly. You gave up on me. You easily believed the worst."

"Damon..."

"No. You said five minutes. Time is running out. You need to listen to me. How is it that _they_ both got what they wanted? _They_ tore us apart. What we had spent almost a year building was gone the minute _they_ came back into our lives."

"So what _they_ conspired to get you to cheat on me? I know what I saw Damon."

"You were with _him_! Don't put this all on me."

"I was with _him_ because you were always with _her_. I was tired of being alone, but don't you dare accuse me of cheating. I was faithful. You weren't. You broke us. I want you out of my house."

"Elena."

"Just go Damon. Please."

He walks towards the door that she had thrown open. He could never refuse her, and how could he now when she had tears running down her face because of him?

* * *

><p>She picks up the phone and texts the one person who would never betray her to come over. She hears the front door open and close. Her friend finds her curled up on the couch.<p>

"Elena. What was the 911 text about? Oh my God. What happened? Why are you crying?"

"Damon was here."

"Why?"

"To say he was sorry. To blame _them_ for him cheating."

"I don't know why he does this. Can't he own his mistakes?" She pulls me into her arms.

"That's just it. I don't think he thinks he made one."

"What? That's absurd. He slept with that slut."

"He seems to think I was cheating too."

"How could he even think that?"

"I don't know, but I need to. There was just something about the way he said it."

"Elena, you have nothing to prove."

"I know I don't owe him anything, but how he could think I would do that to him bothers me. Did he really believe nothing I said? That I was like her?"

"You are nothing like her."

"I know. I just need your help."

"I'll do whatever you need Elena. your my best friend."

"Thanks Caroline, but_ he's_ going to be home soon. I have to leave before he gets home, otherwise he'll try to get me to stay. I'll call you tomorrow."

"Okay, go wash away the tears, add some cover up and breathe." I smile at her as she hugs me once more before leaving.

* * *

><p>"I just wanted to see how things were, but I better get out of here before Damon gets home."<p>

"He never comes home earlier than midnight on Tuesdays."

"Why?"

"You know why."

"No. I don't."

"It was_ their_ date nights. He refuses to spend them with me. He goes out gets trashed, and passes out on the couch."

"Still?"

"You know damn well still. He hates me."

"No. He loves you."

"Maybe he did once, but I ruined what he had with _her_. He hates me for it."

"No. He should have never been with her."

"Is that all you care about? What about me?"

"You can handle yourself. Make him remember how he loved you."

"I'm trying. I just don't know why we had to do it this way."

"We love them, and I wanted to hurt Damon. You wanted to hurt Elena."

"So I'm stuck with a man that is in love with your girlfriend? While you and Elena are in bliss?"

"Damon loved you. He will again. Just make him forget about her."

"I wish I could."

"I don't know why it's so hard. You were with him longer than Elena and I were. I made her forget about him."

"No you didn't. I see the way she looks at him. She still loves him, and if either of them figure out we set them up they will truly hate both of us."

"She loves me."

"Maybe once upon a time. You cheated on her with me. We are the reason they were together to begin with."

"I know that, and it was a mistake. We're trying to fix it."

"I hope so."

"Me too."

* * *

><p><em>Okay. So this came out of nowhere, and I know it's confusing, but it will be explained. Let me know what yout think. -Ava<em>


	2. Chapter 2

_"If you dont love me at my worst then you dont deserve me at my best." Marilyn Monore_

* * *

><p>Stefan was home and alone. He had found Elena's note, and crused out loud. He should have known. It was Tuesday again. The day he had grown to dread. Elena always went in and worked every Tuesday night. She would always leave before he got home. He followed her one night to see if she was secretly meeting Damon. He saw her pull into the Newspaper, walk in, almost in a daze, and sit down in her office. She didn't even bother to turn on her computer. She just sat there, for hours, and it broke part of Stefan's heart. He never wanted her to hurt so bad, but he loved her more than Damon ever would. Katherine could handle Damon, he would just ruin Elena. Damon was a lawyer in the truest sense. He could be cruel, he could rip people apart and tear them down if it suited his agenda, and Elena wasn't strong enough for that.<p>

Sometimes he thought he was just being naive. Afterall he was the one hurting Elena. He had cheated on her with Katherine, and he helped tear her and Damon apart. He honestly believed he was saving her from more pain by getting her away from Damon.

Stefan would never admit to Katherine that or that he knew Elena was still in love with Damon. Partly because he knew how Katherine got when she wanted something and something else got in the way of that, and partly because he was afraid Katherine would back out. He couldn't lose Elena again.

* * *

><p>Katherine sat home again. Alone. Wondering why she was putting herself through this. She loved Damon, but she could have been happy with Stefan. She knew that Stefan loved Elena, but he felt something for her too. He just didn't want Damon to have Elena. She couldn't blame him though, she didn't want Elena to have Damon. Damon had changed for her, Elena made him better in a way Katherine never could and she hated it.<p>

No one thought any less of Elena for being with both brothers. Everyone thought Katherine was a slut for wanting both Salvatore brothers to herself, but she didn't. She may have loved Damon a long time ago, but she loved Stefan now even though he wanted Elena, and he was happy so she would let him be, after all her and Damon were good together. Well they use to be.

How everything got so out of control Katherine wasn't even sure of anymore. One lie led to another, and another, and so on. She wasn't sure how much longer she could do this. Seven months and all she got from Damon was sex, an occasional dinner out, and company parties. Hell they weren't even about her and Damon. Stefan and Elena were there, and the tension and looks between Damon and Elena were almost unbareable. It made Katherine want to be part of a love like Damon and Elena shared. She had thought that Damon had loved her, but she could not have been more wrong. Stefan never loved Elena the way Damon did, it was blatently obvious to everyone but Stefan, and maybe Elena.

* * *

><p>Damon use to love Tuesdays, now he loathed them. They were his Elena days. It was their special day. Every one of them for eleven months they had spent every hour of Tuesdays that they could together. Now those days were spent in the bar they use to drink at together. All he wanted to do while sober was get drunk to forget, but he knew once he was drunk he would remember everything. That was the only time he allowed himself to really feel everything he still did for her. The other times he tried to shut it off, and close off the world that reminded him of her.<p>

He did love Katherine, just not the way he loved Elena, never the way he loved Elena. Still he cheated on Elena, and lost her. Katherine was trying to make things work, and he felt like he owed her to try. Elena did forgive Stefan, and he had done the same thing Katherine had so he wasn't any better.

He had promised Elena that he would never hurt her, that he would always protect her, now look what he had done.

Elena would never forgive him, unless he could convince her that they had been minuplated. They were supposed to be together. How was he going to just forget that? He couldn't, he wouldn't.

* * *

><p>Elena was working the night at her office. Well working wasn't the right word. She had done all her articles at home. Now was her time, the time she needed to feel what she refused to feel while she was with Stefan. Damon and her were special and she didn't want that time to be interfered with. Even now after he broke her heart it was still his.<p>

She gave Damon her heart a long time ago, and he would not give it back. She wondered if she even wanted it back, nobody would ever replace him or what she felt for Damon. Sometimes Elena wished that Stefan and Katherine wouldn't have reazlised they made a mistake and stayed away. Her and Damon would have been perfect with out them, or maybe the relationship was doomed from the start.

She couldn't stop playing Damon's words over in her head. How he could have thought she was like Katherine she would never know. She just didn't know what to do about it. She should be able to just let go, but she couldn't, and that warranted a drink. Today she needed a drink, a burbon. Just to remember how he tasted.

* * *

><p>"Great Elena, just in time."<p>

"For what?"

"I was just about to take Damon home."

"He's here?" She swallows hard, and tries to keep her composure.

"Elena, he's here every Tuesday, same as when you use to come with him."

"Matt maybe just call a cab, I'll leave." She's still in shock that he still comes to their place every week.

"Elena?" Too late, she thinks as she sees Damon come out the door of the grill. He looks between her and Matt, not saying anything.

"Can you get him home for me Elena, please? I still have a bunch to do before I leave. Caroline hates when I get home too late."

"Sure Matt."

"Thanks."

"Don't do me any favors Elena." Damon blurts out angerly.

"Come on Damon. I'm trying to be civil."

"Gee thanks. Grace me with your presence." Now comes out condescending. This was how Damon delt with things. It was like the stages of grief. Damon's were anger, snarky comments, being hurtful, and condescending. She knew him like a book.

"Forget it. I'll call you a cab."

"No. I'll drive myself home." He pulls out his keys and she jumps to grab them before he can move towards his car.

"No way in hell. You are plastered. The last thing I need is to hear you were in an accident."

"I wasn't aware you still cared."

"Damon..."

"Which one are you? I see two of you." She moves over to him and drapes his arm over her shoulder and helps him walk to her car.

"Lets just get you home."

Once he's in her car he leans the seat back, she gets in the drivers seat and looks over to him. His icy eyes are on her, and the heat she feels from his gaze makes her forget everything else. It's just the two of them again and all she wants to do is feel his lips on hers. His hand brushing against her face.

"I'm miserable with out you Elena."

"You shouldn't have done what you did." She says quietly, and sadly.

"I know, but I already lost you to Stefan."

"Damon, you would have never lost me to Stefan."

"But I-"

"Not now. Your drunk and I can't think straight being so close to you. On this day of all days." There's tears in her eyes, she can't stop them.

"Okay, I just have one question."

"Okay, what's your question Damon?"

"What were you doing there?"

"I needed a drink."

"Why?" He prods.

"Because I was thinking about you, normally this day numbs me, but today I felt like I needed to go to the grill for a drink."

"You know what that is? Fate. You were going there because of me. I was there because of you. Fate wants us to be together."

"Damon Salvatore you are about ten sheets to the wind." She laughs and so does he. "You are being very corny."

"If that's what it takes for you to understand we were meant to be."

"We're here. Katherine is porbably waiting for you."

"And Stefan you."

"Goodbye Damon."

"Never goodbye Elena, that word doesn't exist for us." He gets out of the car and she drives home. And just as the last time she saw him, his words play over in her head. She remembers the things she felt for Damon while Stefan was gone.

_"What did we just do?" She looks up at him with a blank look on her face._

_"That was sex Elena, do I need to teach you everything?" He grins at her, and places a light kiss on her forehead. She can't help but smile back at him._

_"Smartass. No, you are Stefan's brother."_

_"And you are Katherine's friend."_

_"I was only her friend because you were with her. We just slept together, and we are just friends."_

_"Correction. We were just friends. Yes we did just sleep together. My question is want to go again?" His voice is seductive and he rolls over so he is on top of her, and God help her she wants it, she wants Damon. More than she ever wanted Stefan._

_"Damon. How is this right?"_

_"We are right. Nothing else exists for me when I'm with you. We're fate Elena."_


	3. Chapter 3

_"I have found the paradox, that if you love until it hurts, there can be no more hurt, only more love." Mother Theresa_

* * *

><p>"Stefan, why are you home so early?"<p>

"I had a meeting this morning, but now Damon's covering."

"You guys making any progres?"

"If that's what you want to call it. I told him I had an appointment, he said he'd cover. Which he shouldn't have a problem with. I cover him on his 'sick' day everyweek." She tenses up at Stefan's tone at his last words, and then deflets.

"What appointment?"

"There isn't one. I needed to have some uninterrupted time to talk to you."

"Okay, about? "

"Damon."

"No."

"Yes Elena. We keep walking on eggshells when it comes to what happened."

"What's there to say?"

"He hurt you Elena, and your still holding onto him."

"You hurt me too, Stefan!"

"Yeah, and you let me go. He hurt you and you pay homage to your special day. I dread tomorrow Elena. I know all you think about is him."

"I can't just forget."

"You moved on with Damon three months after we broke up. It's been almost eight months Elena, and we were together for two years before that. You won't marry me, you won't even wear the promise ring I bought you."

"I don't want to get married Stefan. When did I ever talk about marrige? Never."

"Elena, I need you to let him go."

"I'm trying!"

"Then spend tomorrow with me."

"Why do you need me to be with you on that day? Are you trying to rub this in his face?"

"Not everything I do is about Damon! I need you to move on like he has. Him and Katherine are happy. He let you go."

"Yeah? Funny, I drove Damon home last week from the bar. Seems he pays' homage', as you put it, to that day too. I bet she's thrilled about that."

"You were with Damon?" She looks up at him, and she can see the hurt in his eyes.

"I went to the Grill, and he was drunk. I took him home. That's all. I just need you to be patient."

"I've been."

"I think I'm going to stay with Caroline a few days, clear my head. Maybe it'll do us good."

"Yeah, maybe." She feels awful. She never wanted to drag him down with her. How did she get out of this vicious cycle? Stefan hurts her, she hurts Stefan, Damon hurts her. It was back and forth so much these days. When would the hurt stop?

"Stefan, I know this isn't easy. I'm sorry, but I don't have a switch to turn off what I feel. You need to understand Damon has always been my friend. He was there when my parents died. He was there for me through everything, and I needed him. It's hard not having him anymore."

"You have me."

"We were never really friends Stefan. You came home from college, and we started to hang out because Damon was away on buisness for a few weeks. That was the first time we spent more than an hour alone together, and got to know each other."

"I've known you as long as Damon."

"You never really knew me Stefan."

"And Damon does?"

"Yeah. He gets everything about me. He accepts that I'm stubborn, damaged and so much more."

"I do too."

"I hope so."

"Will you ever be in love with me again?"

"I loved you first." Not that it mattered. Once she admitted she loved Damon, loving someone else could never compare.

"The way you were in love with Damon?"

"I never loved the two of you the same." She wasn't lying. She would _never_ love Stefan the way she loved Damon.

"I guess that's good."

"I should go pack. I'll be home this weekend."

"Sure. We'll go out."

"I'd like that."

* * *

><p>She walks out the door, bags in hand, and comes face to face with Stefan waiting on the porch.<p>

"I have one question. Just answer it honestly. I won't hold it against you, I just can't not ask you."

"I think I know the question, and I don't see why you have to ask, but if you want to go ahead."

"If Damon asked you to marry him, would you?"

"I already told-" She wants to reassure him, she knows she can't hold onto Damon forever.

"No. Say Katherine and I never came back, and Damon proposed. Would you have said yes?"

"Stefan- I- We can't change-" She tries to lie to him, tries to tell him that she wouldn't. In reality she knows she would have. Loving Damon changed everything for her.

"Don't Elena. You just answered my question."

"I'm so sorry."

"Me too. I'll see you Friday."

* * *

><p>"What happened yesterday?"<p>

"We had a Damon fight, and then he asked me if I would have married Damon."

"Why would he ask you that?"

"I don't know. He's always known that I never wanted to get married." She takes the pickles off her burger and sets them aside. The memoriy of Damon snatching them off her plate when she took them off and eating them is enough to make her still get them.

"That was B. D."

"What the hell is B.D.?"

"Before Damon, with Damon, and after Damon. That's how I refer to things with you." She says nonchalantly, and I roll my eyes.

"Caroline I've known Damon for years."

"But you weren't with him untill last year. Anyway W.D. you wanted everything. Being with Damon changed you. Give me the real answer. Did you want to marry Damon?"

"No."

"Your lying. Your eyes betray you Elena. Now did you want to marry him?"

"I didn't want to ever get married. I didn't think it was for me. Then Damon and I got together. I loved him in a way I never loved anyone. Saying yes to Damon would have been easy, I wanted to be with him forever. I could actually see myself walking down the isle and see him waiting for me, living at the Boarding House, and having a baby with his raven hair and his ice blue eyes. "

"I always pictured our kids with your loving doe eyes and my hair, a perfect combination." She almost chokes on her drink when she hears his voice. She turns to see his piercing baby blues looking back at her.

"Damon what are you doing here?"

"I came for a drink."

"At one in the afternoon?"

"It's five o'clock somewhere. What are you doing here? I figured you'd avoid it like the plague."

"We were hungry. I didn't think you'd be here. Let's go Caroline."

"Elena! Wait." He grabs my arm to stop me, his eyes are pleading. A part of run wants to run and the other wants to hear what he has to say.

"Damon, don't."

"Elena, I'll meet you in the car." Caroline says and I nod, not wating her to be anymore involved than she is.

"As I told you before, this is fate. Again on a Tuesday? Talk to me. I heard you."

"I know. Can we forget it?"

"No. You don't get to say things like that and then pretend you never said them."

"You shouldn't have been eavesdropping."

"I wasn't trying to. I heard Blondie say marry, and I thought you and Stefan so I kept listening."

"No. I'm just going to go."

"I'll just follow you back to your place."

"I'm staying with Caroline, go ahead I won't be there. Now excuse me she's wating in the car."

"Why?"

"Because we're leaving."

"No, why are you staying with her?"

"Because I need some time to clear my head. Just let me go Damon."

She walks out of the restaurant and he moves towards the bar. Ordering two shots to start with.

* * *

><p>"She still loves you asshole."<p>

"What do you want Blondie?"

"Listen up, dick. She thinks I forgot my phone. I only have a mintue and I'm only going to say this once. You skrewed up bad, and if you really love her you need to fix it. I wanted to stay out of it but me being me I can't. This has gone on way to long to begin with."

"I'm trying. She won't give me more than a few minutes when I do run into her. I never wanted to hurt her."

"Then why did you?"

"Katherine said that she heard Elena and Stefan talking about getting back together. I was angry she never told me she was even considering it, let alone do it behind my back."

"She wasn't Damon, she would have told me. You were it for her. Stefan told her that you and Katherine were getting back together."

"I never wanted that, but she believed it. She's still with Stefan."

"Your still with Katherine."

"How do I fix it?"

"Find out why and what was said."

"I tried to tell her that Stefan and Katherine were trying to break us up."

"Maybe they were trying, but the two of you let them. I have to go."

"Thanks Blondie."

"Just fix this or leave her alone."

* * *

><p>"Katherine!"<p>

"No need to yell lover. I'm right here. I see you didn't come home last night, the place isn't in ruins."

"I wanted to do this sober. Did you or did you not lie to me?"

"About what Damon?"

"Elena."

"She is what we fight about, she is what your world revolves around. Your going to have to be more specific."

"Did you hear Stefan and Elena talk about getting back together? Did you tell Stefan we were getting back together?"

"I already told you this Damon."

"Answer the question Katherine!"

"You saw them Damon!"

"And you should have seen us. Coffee and drinks, a lunch here and there. People talk Katherine, they said we were back together too, but we weren't. Not everything people say is true. I slept with you the day you told me you saw them kissing. Was it true?"

"She's with him Damon, why can't you let this go?"

"Because I loved her."

"No, you love her. You refuse to give up on the idea of the two of you. Newsflash Damon, she refuses to forgive you. What does that say? She forgave Stefan, but not you."

"So what. I forgave you."

"No you didn't! Your with me because you can't have her. You hate me for coming back. You hate me for her going back to Stefan. You hate me because she hates you. Own your shit Damon."

"I did love you, I still do."

"No you don't, maybe you think you do, but you don't. You know Damon, sometimes when your looking at me you don't see me. You see through me, or maybe your looking for a part of her in me to make being with me more bearable."

"Katherine..."

"No! You need to hear me. She doesn't love you. I'm right here. Your precious Elena is probably skrewing her boyfriend right now. Stefan said they are happy. Move on."

"Elena is staying with Blondie for a few days. So they can't be that happy."

"How do you know that?"

"I ran into Elena."

"How convient. Your a liar. You just ran into her?"

"Pot and kettle Katherine."

"Excuse me?"

"Your calling me a liar. Stefan said?"

"Stefan said what?"

"You just said Stefan said they were happy. When did you talk to Stefan?"

"I ran into him."

"You always were a bad liar Katherine. I have to go before I'm late for my meeting."

"Are you coming home tonight?"

"I live here, don't I?"

"I'll make dinner."

"Fine. I'll be home around six."

"Okay."

"Oh, Katherine?"

"Yeah?"

"If I find out you lied to me at any point about anything where Elena is concerned I will make you sorry you came back."

* * *

><p>"Why did you feel the need to call me twenty-five times?"<p>

"I needed to see you. It's an emergency."

"What emergency, and why did we have to meet outside of town?"

"Elena has been talking to Damon."

"She brought him home last week. That's it."

"She brought him home?"

"Isn't that what you were talking about?"

"No, they ran into each other yesterday. He knows I lied to him."

"What does he know?"

"He asked if I told you that he and I were back together. He wanted to know if I heard you and Elena say you were working things out. He asked if I was telling the truth when I said I saw the two of you kissing because that was the day we slept together. He _knows_."

"He's speculating."

"It doesn't matter. They are talking and if they keep talking they are going to figure out we were feeding them lies."

"I won't lose her Katherine."

"Why can't you just love me?"

"Because I love her."

"No, you wouldn't have cheated on her if you did."

"Damon did, and he apparently loves her."

"Damon cheated on her because of the lies I told him. He thought they were over. You just don't want Damon to have her."

"Katherine we were good together but-"

"No buts Stefan. Elena and Damon still love each other, they treat us like crap, lets give this whole farce up."

"I can't leave her again."

"Stefan, sometimes you are so noble it's pathetic and this is one of those times. You heard about her and Damon, you felt some old feelings and you thought Damon would destroy her, but he didn't. They were happier together than they were...are with us. We can still make this up to them."

"How?"

"We get them back together."

"Give me this weekend, we have plans and if she isn't happy I'll let her go."

"Fine, but we both know the attempt is futile."

"I have to try, she was the first girl I loved."

"You were never in love with her. Damon is and she's in love with him. I am in love with you."

"Then why did you agree to this?"

"Because you were so set on redeeming yourself, and I thought maybe it would work, it didn't and it's hurting all of us. I can't do it anymore."


	4. Chapter 4

_"The safe things arent always the best things." - Wiliam Faulkner_

* * *

><p>"Elena."<p>

"God, Damon you scared me. What are you doing here? How did you even get in?"

"I still have a key."

"Again, why are you here?"

"I needed to talk to you."

"You can't. I'm metting Stefan for dinner. I have to get ready. Please leave."

"Not untill you hear me out."

"What part should I hear? How you didn't still love Katherine? How you didn't sleep with her while we were together? How sorry you are? How you still love me? How about how we can still fix things? No Damon. I'm done with this. I don't want to see you anymore. I'm going to lose Stefan. I can't. So just let me go so I can let you go. You owe me."

"I owe you? Your skrewing Stefan in the same bed we were in."

"I slept with Stefan first in that bed."

"So that's how it works. Stefan's first, so he wins?"

"Don't give me that. You don't sleep with Katherine in our bed?"

"No, Elena. I don't. I stay with Katherine at her place. She doesn't sleep in my bed...our bed."

She's suprised at his confession. She didn't expect him to keep his bed to himself. To keep it theirs.

"It's not our bed anymore."

"God Elena, I don't know if your being self righteous or stupid. You called it our bed. I am not the only one that made a mistake. You were so quick to give Stefan a second chance. I tried to make things okay with Katherine for us. I thought her and Stefan were going to be together. I never thought we would end up with them again."

"What do you call it Damon? Fate."

"No, we are fate. Not this. I came here because this shoudn't have happened. You were talking to Stefan, going out and I was angry so I did the same with Katherine. We both got angry and jealous, and instead of turing to each other we turned away and belived the worst. We did this to us."

"No Damon. You saw Stefan and I being friends, and you jumped to the conclusion I was going to be another Katherine. We were supposed to be different. You broke your promises. You broke us. You broke me, and everytime we talk or I see you I break a little more. I hate you for it Damon because I don't know who I am anymore. The me I was with you was who I thought I was. I was strong, and confident, and happy. Now I feel like I'm suffocating. Stefan wants the girl he loved, you want the girl you loved. I just want to be the me I was happy with, and I don't know how to do that with out you. You helped me see the best me I could be. So that's why you need to stay away Damon. You need to let me go. Don't try to run into me anymore. Don't come here. I can't handle it. I feel like I make progress and then there you are. Here you are."

"Okay. If that's what you need from me." He's visibly broken, she can see it. She hates that she had to go this far. Even though he caused her pain she doesn't want the same for him. But she also knows this is the only way to stop his protests about their relationship.

"It is."

"Goodbye Elena."

She sucks in a breath. She couldn't even begin to say anything else. Damon and her never used the word goodbye when it came to them. He said it never existed, because they were forever. She nods, and he gives her the same in return. He turns to leave, but stops.

"Elena?" He doesn't look at her. Just waits for a response.

"Damon." She barely whispers, but he hears her somehow.

"Stefan was right."

"About what?"

"When he came back he said I didn't deserve you. I told him neither did he, and he said maybe not, but you'll destroy her. He was right. I did destroy you. I'm sorry for that."

He makes his way to the door and shuts it behind him. Not before leaving the key on the table. It hits her that it's really over now and she think she can actually feel her heart break. This was not the way things should have happened. They should have had the happy ever after, but now it's gone. She wipes away the tears and makes her way upstairs to her room. She walks in and all she sees is Damon. Damon on a Sunday morning sleeping in. Damon's clothes hanging in her closet. Damon sitting on the window seat. Damon going through her lingere. Damon carrying her upstairs and dropping her on the bed, the laughs they shared.

And she fnally snaps. She destroys everything. Lamps smash and dresser drawers are being torn out as she throws her lingere, and clothes he bought in the garabe. Everything that reminds her of him had to go. She rips her photo albums out the their place and adds them to the garbage basket. She tears her diary to peices. She finds the shirts of his that she kept and adds them to the trash. Then the damn bear he gave her to keep the one her parents got her company is sitting there staring at her. Despite all the destruction she still feels Damon. She grabs the scissors and the bear. She wants to cut it to shreads, just like she feels has been done to her. She can't do it. She does the only thing she can. She holds it tight and cries as she curls into the fetal position on her bed.

That's how Stefan finds her hours later.

"Elena, what happened? Are you okay?"

"Stefan?" She asks opening her eyes. She notices it's dark out, and she reads the clock.

"I'm so sorry. I fell asleep."

"What happened here?"

"I'm doing what you asked."

"And that is?"

"Letting Damon go."

"Elena, this is not letting him go."

"I got rid of everything that reminded me of him."

"That's part of the problem. You still kept it. All this time."

"I know, but I'm ready now. You were right Stefan. Damon did destroy me. I finally got it. I'm ready to move on."

"Do you think I wanted to be right? How...how did you know I said that?"

"I-"

"Stop. Damon told you. That's why all this happened. Your not doing this because of me. This is because of him. It's still all about Damon for you."

"No. Not anymore. I promise. I'm really ready to try."

"And you weren't before? God, Elena. I knew you loved my brother, but I never knew it was this much. When I came back everyone said how Elena the girl next door had changed the bad boy Damon Salvatore. I didn't think it was possible. I was wrong."

"Stefan-"

"Let me finish. The Elena I saw when I came back was feisty and fun and free. Everything Damon was it was because of you, and everything you were was because of him. Katherine and I destroyed you and Damon."

"No, Stefan. Your wrong."

"Not this time. I have to go Elena."

"Don't leave."

"Meet me at your parents lake house tomorrow night."

"Okay."

* * *

><p>"You win, Katherine."<p>

"I'm sorry Stefan."

* * *

><p>She waits and waits. The snow keeps falling, and she doubts Stefan is coming. She thinks he needed her away to make leaving easier. The door opens and she smiles a light smile and it drops as soon as she sees him walk through the door.<p>

"What are you doing here Damon?"

"I could ask why your here alone. Where are Stefan and Katherine?"

"What? Wait...I asked first."

"Katherine asked me to come. She said that Stefan and you wanted to try and make things easier for all of us."

"Stefan asked me to meet him here. Is this some kind of joke?"

"Seriously Elena? Do you think everything I say is a lie?"

"It's a blizzard out there Damon. I'm not staying here with you, especially if she is coming. I'm calling Stefan."

"Go for it. I don't want to get stuck with the two of you either. I'll call Katherine."

* * *

><p>"Stefan where are you?"<p>

"I'm moving into Katherine's appartment."

"What?"

"Elena, we are all where we're supposed to be. Katherine and I sent the two of you there to fix things. You don't want to be with me anymore than Damon wants to be with Katherine. I'm done pretending. Bye Elena"

* * *

><p>"Where the hell are you Katherine?"<p>

"Helping Stefan move into my place.

"What? Why?"

"Where else is he going to live? With you? I don't think so. How are you and Elena doing?"

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"I'm done Damon. I'm not going to live with a man that hates me. Stefan and I were happy. You and Elena still love each other. Not us. We couldn't fix it, but the two of you can. Bye Damon."


	5. Chapter 5

_"We should all start to live before we get too old. Fear is stupid. So are regrets."_

* * *

><p>Chapter 5<p>

They were trapped. Together. Neither would offer to get them back into town either. They refused to risk each others life even now.

They would just have to wait out the snow storm, and hopefully work through the storm that had wiped them out.

What he would have given a few months ago to be trapped here with her. Before he ruined them, before they chose to believe the worst in each other. If he could just hit the rewind button in their lives he'd go back to when Katherine and Stefan started to come between them, he would bring Elena here, and talk to her about everything, see where they stood, make promises and a commintment to each other. He would have gladly got down on one knee and asked her to marry him, as long as he got to keep her forever.

Damon had never seen himself setteling down, he didn't think marriage was in the cards for him. That was only untill he had Elena Gilbert for the first time. Knowing her, being with her had changed him. In ways that he never thought possible.

He would never marry anyone but _her_.

And that was the only thing that Damon Salvatore needed in his life.

_Elena Gilbert._

Now he was here with her after all of what he considered irreparable damage. He was still in love with her, that would never change but now he was well aware he had broken her.

Now he was walking on eggshells.

Her voice snaps him out of his thoughts.

"Damon?"

"Yeah?"

"I made some dinner, if your hungry." She hands him a bowl of soup. No doubt out of the can. He smiles at her idea of cooking.

"Sure. Thanks."

"Welcome."

She can't help but stare at him. Why had he wanted to come up here with Katherine to make peace? What was the point of that? How could any of them expect that from her?

"What is it Elena? No need to stare and ponder. Ask away."

"Why would you want to try and make things easier? How would that work? We would all double date again? Be friends?"

"No. I came up here because I thought maybe if we all talked we could lay everything on the table, and move on. I didn't think it would fix our relationship, I didn't think we would all be friends. I thought the only thing I could give you that wouldn't keep hurting you would be some closure so you could finally move on."

"Oh."

"Guess they skrewed us over again."

"No, not this time."

"This is the second time they left us. For each other."

"Except this time I don't care."

"What? Why not? Why are you so calm?"

"Closure Damon. I got it."

"I'm confused."

"I love Stefan, I always have, but I'm not in love with him. I don't have to pretend anymore. No more trying to be someone I'm clearly not. I can just be me and feel whatever I want to feel. Katherine is out of my life. I'm free." And with those words she can finally breathe again.

"And me?"

"Damon..."

"No. Say it."

"I meant what I said the other day at my house. Am I still in love with you? Yes, but it's not enough Damon. The old you and I are gone. This is who we are now."

"I don't believe that. The old you and I are gone? Bullshit. We are still those people Elena. Did we change a little? Yeah, but you are still the girl that was my best friend, the girl who refused to leave my side when my mother died because you knew how reckless I could be. I am still the guy who's shoulder you cried on when you had a break up, who stayed in bed with you for days when your parents died. You are still the most unselfish person I know, I'm still the most selfish, but we balance each other out. We work. We may hate each other sometimes, but we still love each other more than anything else. We always will, and that's what matters."

His words hit her like a ton on bricks. Everything he said, everything they were was just too much. He's too much, he always had been. Loving Damon was consuming, and that's what she loved most of all. Could she just go back to that? After everything that had happened, she wasn't sure.

"That is the past. We can't keep living it. You are the one that told me living in the past puts your future on hold. You taught me how to be strong and tough Damon. Let me do that. Alone."

"You want me in your past? If that's what you want, you got it Elena! Goodnight." He has nothing else to say, he knows she will fight him every step of the way. So he throws in the towel. He fought for so long and so hard and still failed. The story of his life.

"Good-." He slams the door before she can finish. She's in a small state of shock that he would just let it go. Damon Salvatore didn't like to lose a fight. He left her the other day looking so broken, now today he just walked away, and she hated it. That's what she wanted though, right? She wanted Damon to walk away and let her move on. Why did she feel more broken now that he was going to give up than she did when they actually broke up? Maybe it was because deep down she knew that their break-up was not final. She refuse to belive that was the end of her story with Damon. There was never suppose to be an end to them.

More importantly was he right? Maybe they did hate each other sometimes, but no matter what they loved each other so much more than that. Not an arguement, not being stubborn, not broken promises, not even being unfaithful could bring enough hate for her to stop loving him.

That's when she remembers what she told Caroline.

_'He seems to to think I was cheating too.'_

Why did he think that? What did he hear that made him believe that?

The thing that has her more baffled is that he still tried to fix things with her even though he thought she was being unfaithful. He apologized, he came to her repeatedly, he had tried to talk to her. Why had he not given up then, but now he had?

It's a dumb question. She already knows the answer. He loved her enough to do what she asked of him. Even if it meant letting her go. He loved her that much.

And that right there is what makes Elena Gilbert crack.

She wipes away the tears and heads to her room, she crawls into bed and wills herself to fall asleep. She needs it to be tomorrow. She needs to talk to Damon.

No more running away. No more pushing or accusing. She wanted to simply sit down and talk.

He finds her on the couch with two cups of coffee on the table in front of her. He looks intently at her and she simply nods. He sits arcoss from her and they both sip their coffee, and this time he refuses to be the first to crack.

"Can we talk Damon?"

"Now you want to talk?"

"Yes."

"What changed your mind Elena?"

"You did."

"How? I didn't do anything but what you asked."

"That is precisely why."

"Okay." He replys in a confused tone.

"You said to me _'you were with him, don't put this all on me.'_, what did you mean?"

"Just what I said."

"I don't understand it Damon."

"You put all the blame on me."

"I know. I don't mean that part. I mean what did you mean 'you were with him'?"

"How else could I mean it? You were with Stefan behind my back."

"No. I wasn't."

"So you didn't kiss him, and decide you should be together before ending things with me?"

"No, Damon. I never cheated on you. I loved only you. I didn't want to work things out with Stefan. Who told you that?" The idea of her ever leaving Damon is preposterous.

"Stefan told Katherine that."

"No. He wouldn't."

"Oh, he would. Stefan wanted you as far away from me as possible. By the look on your face I see that Stefan lied. Suprise. We knew that Elena. We knew they were both liars and we let them con us. We are so stupid, how didn't we figure this out earlier?"

"Because I loved him a long time ago, and you loved Katherine. It complicated things, but Damon your the one that gave him what he wanted."

"Technically."

"What the hell does that mean?"

"It means the only reason I turned to Katherine was because of what she told me."

"No, no, no." '_They tore us apart.' _Damon had said to her. At the time she didn't think he could possibly be right.

"No, what Elena?"

"Stefan told me that Katherine had said the two of you had been sleeping together for weeks."

"No Elena. The first time I slept with her was the day she said she saw you kiss Stefan and that the two of you were together again."

"I already said that never happened. Why didn't you talk to me?"

"Because I was furious. I was in love with you! It was different with you, and you were leaving me. The only reason I went back to Katherine was so I could have a distraction from you. I may have loved her, but that didn't matter. Nothing did. I lost you. Why didn't you talk to me?"

"I was devestated. It was different with you too Damon. I couldn't talk to you, I couldn't be around you. I didn't want to hear any excuses."

"So you turned to Stefan for real at this point?"

"Yes."

"You threw away everything we had!. You berated me for it when it wasn't just me. I was wrong. I didn't just destroy you, we destroyed each other. I should go, the roads shouldn't be too bad now. The snow stoped not long after I went into bed."

"Okay."

He goes back into the room and comes out a few minutes later.

"Will you be okay getting back into town?"

"Yeah."

"Okay." He nods at her before making his way to the door. She feels the tears blur her vision again. This was a hurt and pissed off Damon, and who knew what he was capable of. All she did know was that he was going to need time, and so was she.

She opens the door and doesn't let him pass. She just starts talking.

* * *

><p>"Thanks for coming."<p>

"Sure. I didn't think I left anything here though."

"You didn't. I felt like lying."

"What?"

"I felt like lying. Just like you did I guess. What I don't understand was how you could possibly lie so much? How could you hurt me like that? You loved me once upon a time Stefan. Didn't that love warrant some respect?"

"I am sorry. I wanted you to be happy, but I didn't want you with Damon. I thought we could be happy again."

"You ruined my happiness. I wanted nothing more than Damon."

"I know that now."

"Now is too late. Do you know how much damage you have caused us? You skrewed with my life twice. What did I do to you that was so bad for you to hurt me like this?"

"Nothing. I was selsifh. That's why Katherine and I gave up."

"Well congratulations. You made a mess and walked away. Again."

"There is something I need to tell you."

"Oh god. What else?"

"Damon never did anything untill Katherine told him we were going to make us official again. He was faithful untill he thought you weren't. There was never a point where Damon stoped loving you according to Katherine. I thought you should know that."

"Well then you should know that there was never a point when I stoped loving Damon. I have never hated anyone the way I hate you and Katherine. Damon and I didn't deserve to be cheated on, and we didn't deserve to be lied to. Stay away from me Stefan and keep Katherine away from Damon."

Slamming the door in someones face had never felt so good.


End file.
